TNT (Tago ng Tago)

Dumating si Dan sa Amerika sa tulong nang kanyang kumpare na may kontak sa immigration sa Pilipinas. Medyo tagilid ang papeles niya kaya masyado siyang maingat (TNT). Ayaw man lang lumabas ng bahay si Dan kung hindi kasama ang kanyang kumpare.

Eh minsan, nagsawa na ang kanyang kumpare sa kaaalalay sa kanya. Pareng Dan,Sabi ni kumpareng itinatago ang inis, Heto ang susi ng kotse, at mga credit cards ko. Mag-shopping ka naman sa mall, lumabas ka naman ng bahay nang malibang ka naman. Kung may problema ka, tawagan mo ako sa telepono sa opisina, papasok na ako.

Eto na po, dahil na siguro hiyang-hiya na rin si Dan, kahit nerbiyos na nerbiyos ang kolokoy, sinubukan niyang lumabas. Tuwang-tuwa si tarantado (Dan) sa pamamasyal sa mall. Nakapili ng damit na gusto niya, pero pagdating sa cashier, biglang tanong sa kanya Sir! Visa or MasterCard?

Biglang nataranta at natakot si Dan, todo-panic ika nga! Karipas ng takbo palabas si Dan, dahil sa takot! Aba!, tinamaan ng lintik at hinahanap ang visa ko! sabi ni Dan, Baka nabisto na ako!, Shet! Sakay kaagad siya nang kotse ni kumpare, haruruot!.

Kaso, halos wala nang gas ang sasakyan kaya huminto siya sa isang gas station. Nang maglagay siya nang gas, biglang nagsalita ang cashier sa speaker, Sir! pay first please!. Naku, patay! Papers daw! Hinahanap ang papers ko!

Nagtatakbo si Dan sa maga eski-askinita hanggang makakita siya ng pay phone. Patago-tago siyang lumapit sa pay phone.(hingal)Kailangang...(hingal) ... matawagan ko .... (hingal) si Kumpare ... (hingang malalim, sabay lulon) para masundo niya ako rito ... (hingal).

Pagtaas niya ng telepono, narinig niya, AT&T, how may I help you? ... ..... Aba, Anak ng putakteh!, alam na TNT ako! Buking na ako! Pagbaba niya ng telepono, may amerkanong nakatayo sa likod niya, ang tanong ba naman.....

Are you done?. Napahandusay si Dan sa phone booth. Biglang bulalas, Buray kan ina!, alam pa ang pangalan ko! Sa gulat ng amerikano ..... Hey! be cool, man!, Hinakupo, sabi ni Dan, Alam pa kung taga-saan ako!. Sa matinding takot at nerbiyos ni Dan, nagpahuli na lang siya.
Ngayon si Dan ay nasa Bicol na muli at binansagan siyang si Dan Balikbayan.

A Mime in a Zoo

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office. The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime accepts.

So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime. However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires. He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.

At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls. The mime is terrified.

The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce. The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?" 

$200 Bucks

$200 Bucks It Is...
A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.

" Hi, is Tony home?"

" No, he went to the store."

"Well, you mind if I wait?"

" No, come in."

They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."

Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.

They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."

Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves.

A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend Chris came over. "

Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"